My Ego in My Relationships

TL,DR: I justify looking for someone with the same qualities and achievements as looking for commonalities but I fear that my ego is just looking for justification by a woman who is 'qualified' to judge the greatness of my ego's accomplishments. On the other hand, its hard to have a relationship with someone with whom you don't share any of the same hobbies and interests. How do I split them apart.

Long version:
I've been an 'achiever' all of my life. I was a college track athlete and graduated with honors from a ritzy university, got a professional degree, and competed in Ironman. I have struggled with depression since I was a teenager - like suicidal planning with plans that were researched and designed for lethality. Regular exercise helps immensely with my depression.

I'm not outwardly egoic, I don't race anymore and even when I did, I didn't like feeling judged about my race times (although they were mostly good). I never had race tattoos or bumper stickers, and my medals are all thrown into a drawer until they are donated to a charity that re-finishes them for Special Olympics; I have never constructed a shrine to myself.

Now in relationships, I'm always trying to meet someone who is somewhat accomplished in terms of athletics. I justify it with the way that prior relationships have been very difficult for me when I have had to reduce workouts to less than 30-40 min 2-3x a week; to me, this isn't a huge time commitment. But is it really just my ego seeking justification from a 'worthy judge'? https://pcforums-liviant.netdna-ssl....s/rolleyes.gif

Find someone who "fits" your criteria and then you'll see if it's going to work and what's going to happen. Seeking for "worthy judge" doesn't sound like a recipe for a successful relationship, but it doesn't mean it's not going to work.

I think you're the only one who can answer that last question, but I agree with MisterPaul that you should find someone that fits and takes you as you are without you needing to cut back your training time. Maybe someone that at least partly trains along with you.
And sure, they should like you and it doesn't hurt to have one's accomplishments praised. That does not mean that you're a narc or such. There is a healthy degree to that and it is a fundamental human need you should not feel obliged to feel bad about unless it goes beyond a healthy degree (for you and others), which frankly your post does not sound like at all. SO your give yourself a break, you sound like an awesome human being.

I am very curious about what kind of relationship you have/had with your parents, especially with your mother. Also, did you have siblings growing up?