I started out super upset this morning. Just feeling like crap all around. I felt even worse because I KNOW I’m bringing this on myself on purpose to punish myself. I need to do my affirmations.

However, I received good news. My disability claim was finally approved by the examiner company! So that motivated me to hop right on my benefits website to submit a claim to hopefully get paid. I also got onto my health insurance account and paid my outstanding balance to the tune of $812. That upsets me because I already have $4500 in medical bills AND I found out my out of pocket maximum is $10,000 not $6000. So I’m probably going to end up owing $10,000 when all is said and done. At least when I get married in October I can switch to RS’s health insurance which is way better than mine.

I also contacted an officiant but I couldn’t bring myself to contact a photographer. Wedding photographers are super expensive. I’m hoping I’ll get by with less as we’re having a microwedding with only a brief reception lunch.

I’m deciding what to do for dinner. I was going to make hamburgers but I just don’t want to cook. We were going to go to the diner yesterday but my son whined and complained and bugged the **** out of me so I said screw it. I also told him though that I’m not going to give in to his whining anymore. It’s purely manipulative. I let it go for most of his childhood because I wasn’t in a good headspace but I’m over it! There’s no reason at 10 years old he should still be whining when he doesn’t get what he wants. I’m just going to totally ignore him when he’s whining. I will tell him I will speak to him when he can speak in an appropriate tone.