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Old Jul 09, 2021, 03:40 AM
Britedark Britedark is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2018
Location: Galaxy far far away
Posts: 98
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rose76 View Post
The person you need to have a stern talk with is yourself. Whatever you say to her will go in one ear and out the other. You don't establish a boundary by proclamation. Instead, you simply start defending against her intrusions. She'll figure it out. I'm sure she's a dear soul 😁, but think of her as a puppy . . . or a toddler who hasn't learned English yet. When she starts pawing you, press her arms back to her side and say, "Sis, we're going to be a little less touchy-feely."

I once watched a pretty nurse speaking with an elderly male patient who was getting ready to "cop a feel." She cupped his elbows in what seemed like a sweet gesture, but it gave her control of his arms and hands. I can't really illustrate that adequately, but you can experiment and find what works. Nurses often deal with patients who want to plant a kiss, or pat a butt. They learn how to deflect those advances, without saying a word. You start to "claim your space and own your space."

Once you change your mindset, you'll figure out ways to stop her intrusiveness - whether physical or otherwise. She'll adapt . . . but she'll keep testing you. Good luck. You can do it.
Thank you, your suggestions are very helpful. Since you have been so understanding I'd like to ask you something further. In the past I have tried to stop the touchy feely behaviour. But then my sister told me that her love language is 'physical affection', and she won't feel loved unless I demonstrate through hugs and kisses. Do you know anything about it? Is that the only way some people feel loved? I am not trying to justify her behaviour, I am just requesting some clarity so I can understand things better.