Here's the best thing. I never once thought about sui or si. Instead I thought what can I do that will help me get through the situation.

I've made huge strides. And I'm finally saying huge. T told me I was doing good, pdoc said same thing. Even with so much s**t, I can find peace.

New challenge, getting my whole self ready each day to stop the pain before gets worse and self care isn't enough. Which means stretching, meditation, and very specific planning.

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