um, don't know where to begin...... just over the edge with fear or anxiety or nervousness or whatever the 'h' it's called!


these 'senses' or emotions must be jacked up right now. i'm noticing that most 'softer' or muffled sounds i think are bugs - to the point where i'm muting the tv at times to "check the sounds"!
i'm also constantly "double-checking" the things i see, since lone objects may or may not be moving. [this is partly brought on by a physical-medical symptom and the other part curiosity/concern]

and now tonight, just thru the roof....... i already don't like things flying at my face, especially bugs. when out of nowhere, i'm just watching tv like i had been doing for hours, when this bat/bird comes flying into the room!!!! it starts doing 'figure-eight' loops between the two rooms, which my chair sits right by the adjoining wall!
i'm so f-ing nervous and scared right now that i'm sweating & my pulse might be a 'tad' elevated.

i'm scared that this will make me nearly constantly afraid to go into various rooms in the house here, for fear of what might come flying towards my head!

i should be sleeping right now but i'm too afraid to. so now what?!
[ it's worth noting that i sleep in the room with the tv! ]