I only got about three hours of sleep last night even though I absolutely took my evening medications. When I can be totally awake at 4 am (not having slept at all) after taking 600 mg Seroquel XR at 6 pm, it's a "Houston we have a problem" situation. If it was a total one-off, that would be one thing, but it's not. I should have taken the Ativan. That would have helped. But I've taken it more than I like, lately. So I didn't last night.

I talked to Hubby at length this morning to really drive home that I'm struggling. Beyond further denial. I'm not hypomanic/manic. I'm depressed. A bit desperate. By denying it, I only hurt myself more. Luckily, I finally see my psychiatrist the day after tomorrow. Will he make a medication adjustment? If so, what? Normally it's Seroquel XR up or down, but that wouldn't seem the right move. We'll see. More Lamictal can lift my mood, but is also activating...often to extreme. Would that help with my sleep? Or exacerbate the current issues? Or maybe just take the blasted Ativan? When I take it, it's lately only been at night. Not during the daytime.