We weren't engaged though. And I ended up leaving the website because it was in general, a toxic environment, and I found different communities that make me feel loved and accepted. If she continues to openly be herself, people will put it together. But I no longer care if anyone knows the truth. I have nothing to prove. In my own way, I have found my inner and outer peace and I'm moving on to better things. Even if they did know the truth, people on that site love and support toxic people out of a blind sense of loyalty. They think if someone if you're a friend or romantic partner you MUST be loyal no matter what even if they are cruel and abusive to you or others. I disagree with this mentality. I peaced out.

After my experience with her. I don't know what is the truth or a lie. She talked almost constantly about her ex's and how horrible they were. I don't know if she was making it up or not. And well, it's not my journey and none of my business now.

She wanted a relationship with me immediately after a breakup. She basically jumped from a guy she was moving in with to me almost overnight. And I said that we need to take this slow. I went through trauma recently and am still healing, and you just went through this and ended a relationship the other day. We should approach this slowly and with care, and focus on our healing. I was love bombed, and manipulated. She would intentionally make me uncomfortable, laugh about it, and then be like "Oh I didn't mean it that way seems like I do EVERYTHING WRONG. "And then we'd fight. I spent almost an entire month of our relationship fighting nearly every day. Because I would address her behavior, she would fight, then apologize and ask me to give her another chance because she was REALLY falling in love with me. I'd say yes. I had no idea she would flirting behind my back with a good friend of mine and he never told me either.

We got to the seventh or so conversation where she said, "I'm sorry just give me one more chance, you're a great person and I want to be with you. I can work on myself." And I was like...you know, we've had this conversation several times. And you never actually change your behavior, you just do it again. I asked what exactly she was doing to work on herself? Because I was over here getting into therapy, talking to my doctor, reading a book about healing trauma, doing affirmations, and actually working on myself. I was like...so...what are you doing to work on yourself?

She said a vague thing about trying to get a therapist on the following Monday but that's the last time she ever mentioned it to me and it never happened.

We were pursuing something and I was trying to take it slow and gentle, she wanted to rush into it. It's wild that whatever we had was only for about two months and it did so much damage to my mental and physical health.