Quote:
Originally Posted by SprinkL3
In the U.S., we have a surplus of vaccines. It's sad to hear other countries like yours struggling with giving out boosters/vaccines. I'm so sorry @ InkyTinks - I hope you can get your vaccine soon, and I hope your time spent with family remains safe and virus-free.
I am struggling with my OCD a lot, as well as DID, so you will hear many different responses from me (collectively, since I have different parts). I'm struggling to find a balance. I am really in survival mode, and my emotions are all over the place. I just wished that the world were safe and free again. I miss pre-pandemic life. |
I can't even imagine what it must be like with so many different alters! ..so is 'SprinkL' one alter who types on here or just like an account name where anyone can respond to posts if they want?
For me...my 'other me' was only out when I had to go out in public to college or work. When I lived in residential settings (like halls of residence at university) they were stuck out for a long time as other students lived in the same flat and frequently knocked on my door or just walked in my room. so for a long time I had to be exactly who other people were expecting for most of the time.
I did find it exhausting and it was a relief when I finally was able to find my own flat but by then FB existed and people I had known expected me to be available through that constantly so the 'out in public mask' also further developed into the 'social media persona' and became another different version of me due to mobility issues arising at the time and then also becoming a wheelchair user as well as deaf! (I had not yet discovered about me actually having Auditory Processing Disorder at this point).
I understood I had Autism also by this time but at the time felt it was something to hide because people visibly treated me very differently when they knew! ..so kind of denied it heavily and had no interest back then in joining an 'autistic community'. No-one on my FB friends list at the time knew I had Autism and I never told anyone.
I was in my forties by the time I understood the connection between Autism, Auditory Processing Disorder and 'appearing deaf' due to struggling to understand speech.
Maybe due to the Peri-menopause too I was feeling disconnected from people, feeling I was much more 'able' online (or came across that way) and that there was a 'secret me' I think I confused this with having more than one personality.. if anything I more closely fit OSDD1A having 'different versions of me' that aren't quite distinct enough to be separate personalities but I never pursued diagnosis of this....I get enough discrimination from the conditions people can physically see!
Besides, in shielding I've had much more room to find the confidence to be who I feel is 'the original self'...and therefore back to just 'one me'! ..as the other masks/persona's aren't needed anymore.