Pandemic Stress, Pandemic Continuous Traumatic Stress, Tribalism Coping, & More!

That's a real shame! I don't know much about the US only what I've seen on TV shows. I've never been abroad unless you count the Republic of Ireland ..which is considered separate to Northern Ireland even more so now as they're still in the EU!


The places I like to watch about on TV aren't wheelchair accessible anyway! I love nature documentaries ...watching snow leopards in the Himalayas, Huskies sledding over the Arctic Tundra's and stuff like that...though our country gets cold enough for me in winter couldn't cope with their minus temps.. -40 and below!!


Can't cope with too much heat either...our houses aren't built with air conditioning in like houses in hotter climates are. For now we rarely go below -10C (winter) or go above 30C (summer heatwaves) and very rarely consecutive days but with global warming as it is who knows!!


Our press can't seem to decide whether we're heading for an ice age or living in the sahara!

Have to go sort out doggy..I'll come back on later!

Have a good walk with doggy!

I like seeing scenery online when I can't get out - in this case, throughout my 2-year-and-growing isolation.

I had no idea Ireland is split.

But then again, if the US keeps up with its extreme polarization, we might be splitting. Oregon is already considering splitting and then joining with Idaho, instead of becoming their own 51st state or something. But at the rate the USA is going with their politics, we might be the "divided" states of America, whereby the right-winged conservatives (republicans/red) will have their own states, and the left-winged liberals (democrats/blue) will have their own as well. Perhaps the moderates and independents (known sometimes as "unaffiliates"/purple) would be vocal enough to chime in for a third split, but who knows; they've been pretty unpopular and silent most years. The "United" part of the States of America might be more of the Tri-Divided States of America if we aren't careful. I'm sure then then red states would reinstate the slave trade and all its bigotry and bring back the original Constitution, barring all amendments; the purple states would add more amendments to their Constitution; and the blue states would abolish the Constitution altogether and form a new Constitution or whatever name they deem appropriate, so as to differentiate themselves from being part of such politics. The red states would be fascist and sovereign states with a dictatorship - very similar to communism, even though they claim to hate that. The purple states would attempt to find balance, but they, too, will have ongoing polarization issues with some democracy, but still a lot of capitalism; they might lean more toward liberty and avoid socialism, communism, and fascism altogether. The blue states would become ultra liberal, ultra democratic, and a socialist state (but still avoid communism, unlike what others may think or consider).

This is where our USA's divided political think is headed.

well our PM has been on telly again! ... to depress us all with statistics on how much Omicron is doubling!!


People are basically being told to be selective about who they socialise with so they don't ruin their own xmas day! (by getting it!) ..won't be a problem here I've only been seeing sibling anyway! ,,not very helpful advice for those who still have to work or have kids in school!



I tried emailing my Dr's again about the booster but they can't even tell me if I will get mine before xmas or after! ..so no idea what's going on there! Maybe too many nurses already have to be off cos they had symptoms and can't visit housebound patients??


I got more food in for my dog before things get bad (delivery drivers/postmen struck down etc) and a new high viz coat for him as we're often setting off in the dark to get to playing field as its getting light...they should arrive tomorrow so early morning for us to get out and back to wait for them to arrive! ..then 'batten down the hatches' time! ...no more deliveries or contact until I see family xmas day and hopefully none of them will have it either by then, so we don't have to cancel! ..unfortunately they do have to work as they are 'keyworkers' - doing jobs that can't be done from home

Northern Ireland is part of the United Kingdom with England and Scotland, right? While the south is the Republic of Ireland, a separate country.

In the U.S., we have a surplus of vaccines. It's sad to hear other countries like yours struggling with giving out boosters/vaccines. I'm so sorry @InkyTinks - I hope you can get your vaccine soon, and I hope your time spent with family remains safe and virus-free.

I am struggling with my OCD a lot, as well as DID, so you will hear many different responses from me (collectively, since I have different parts). I'm struggling to find a balance. I am really in survival mode, and my emotions are all over the place. I just wished that the world were safe and free again. I miss pre-pandemic life.

yes that's correct.


If you're interested in the history



Partition of Ireland - Wikipedia.

I've never been to N.I but years ago went to the ROI to Dingle Bay to swim with Fungi the Dingle Dolphin. He stayed in the bay for years but I believe he disappeared and they didn't know (at the time) whether he left to find a mate or died.



I had never been abroad...I had to get a passport just in case it was asked for (we were going by car ferry) and we had to change currency, (but this was before the Euro was accepted everywhere) so it was really like being in another country..particularly for me cos I couldn't understand anything people were saying even when they were speaking English cos of their strong accents down there!

It was a nice holiday though, also visited the beach where they filmed for the movie 'Ryan's Daughter'.

Ryan's Daughter - Wikipedia

The more recently famous 'Game of Thrones' was filmed (partly) in 25 locations around Northern Ireland.

If you're a big fan of Game of Thrones this site has map locations of filming

Game of Thrones Ireland: 16 Locations + Map (2021)

I can't even imagine what it must be like with so many different alters! ..so is 'SprinkL' one alter who types on here or just like an account name where anyone can respond to posts if they want?


For me...my 'other me' was only out when I had to go out in public to college or work. When I lived in residential settings (like halls of residence at university) they were stuck out for a long time as other students lived in the same flat and frequently knocked on my door or just walked in my room. so for a long time I had to be exactly who other people were expecting for most of the time.


I did find it exhausting and it was a relief when I finally was able to find my own flat but by then FB existed and people I had known expected me to be available through that constantly so the 'out in public mask' also further developed into the 'social media persona' and became another different version of me due to mobility issues arising at the time and then also becoming a wheelchair user as well as deaf! (I had not yet discovered about me actually having Auditory Processing Disorder at this point).


I understood I had Autism also by this time but at the time felt it was something to hide because people visibly treated me very differently when they knew! ..so kind of denied it heavily and had no interest back then in joining an 'autistic community'. No-one on my FB friends list at the time knew I had Autism and I never told anyone.


I was in my forties by the time I understood the connection between Autism, Auditory Processing Disorder and 'appearing deaf' due to struggling to understand speech.


Maybe due to the Peri-menopause too I was feeling disconnected from people, feeling I was much more 'able' online (or came across that way) and that there was a 'secret me' I think I confused this with having more than one personality.. if anything I more closely fit OSDD1A having 'different versions of me' that aren't quite distinct enough to be separate personalities but I never pursued diagnosis of this....I get enough discrimination from the conditions people can physically see!


Besides, in shielding I've had much more room to find the confidence to be who I feel is 'the original self'...and therefore back to just 'one me'! ..as the other masks/persona's aren't needed anymore.

One of our scientific advisors to govt has today been talking about how it's going to take five years to get under control, with the next 18 months being the worst!!!



I'm not sure if he was referring only to our country or in general worldwide!

With the pandemic, it's a global phenomenon. Your scientific advisors are likely talking about the entire world. I predicted back in late-2020 that it would take at least 5 years, given the behaviors of leadership locally and globally. It's not hard to guestimate when you see the patterns of community spread occurring not only during flu season, but during all the holidays and summertime travel and the U.S.'s "Spring Break" travels, which caused a surge in certain states out here. No matter how many times they've seen this in 2020 and now 2021, the behavior continues, as if they've given up on public safety, on protecting our disabled (including elderly and young disabled persons), and on our most vulnerable infants and autoimmune persons who cannot get vaccinated. They may consider life as going on because they just ignore all the warning signs, decide not to invest in testing or masks or proper air filtration, decide to continue doing non-essential travel while going unvaccinated and/or improperly masked, decide to work in high-risk places with many other people while going unvaccinated or improperly masked or unmasked, etc. When systemic issues like this occur, it's hard to pinpoint direct cause-effect relationships and who is responsible. But overall, systemic problems are the responsibility of governments and other leaders, such as scientists. But when scientists allow politics to infiltrate their institutions, they cut corners on the recommendations that would have helped to stop or slow this down, and prevent many deaths and long-term disabilities from occurring. People working in so-called "essential jobs" should really adhere to vaccine and N95 masking, since they are around so many vulnerable people at their jobs. They have the energy, the ability, and the means to do so; the disabled don't always have the money or energy to do so, as N95 and N99 masks are expensive, as many of them are on fixed incomes, and as many of them would wind up with long-Covid, severe Covid, death, and/or exorbitant medical bills. The able-bodied persons with no immunocompromising conditions and minimal or few risky conditions have the means and the energy to at least double-mask if not purchase N95s, socially distance, improve their indoor air purifiers and otherwise, spent alternative vacations outdoors, such as driving in their own vehicles to go camping, instead of spreading the virus and otherwise via airplanes, trains, cabs, taxies, busses, Uber, Lyft, etc. Many of us are sacrificing a lot for not only ourselves, but also others. It's about time that the able-bodied people sacrifice their time and money, too. After all, we're still paying taxes on their future, their retirement, their Medicare, their Medicaid (in case they ever get disabled in the future), etc. We're all supposed to be in this together - globally, not just locally or individually. But there are too many selfish people who lack empathy, or too many people who put politics and money over healthcare, public safety, and humanity. It's just sad where this world is headed - globally, not just locally.

It's not easy for me dissociating and also being aware of my "switches." Before, it was tough losing time and not knowing what I was doing. But now, it's challenging being co-conscious. Internal family systems coping helps when my alters and I can communicate and find consensus on what to do and who can be out.

Society emphasizes reputation and performance. So it comes as no surprise when we worry constantly about what other people think. It gets reinforced in the news, in sales ads, in our everyday relationships. But worrying constantly about what other people think and then getting lost in performing for them and how we think they will accept us if we said this or did that or omitted this or took away that from ourselves is robbing ourselves of our true self. Winnicott mentions this notion of the "false self," which is sometimes what I think we present to the demanding world. The goal is to find our true self and to heal by letting go of what everyone else wants and instead figure out what we want. Sure, we can be healthy by being interdependent, but it shouldn't dictate our likes, our personality expressions, etc.

Being physically and/or mentally disabled will restrict our mobility, movement, socialization, and affordability for going outside. We may initially struggle with adjusting to our new limiting disabilities, but over time, we eventually get used to living a slower, less-social life. That said, loneliness does exacerbate many physiological and mental symptoms, so we have to be creative in order to find ways to not be so lonely. But loneliness also comes about when we feel like we are not being accepted for our authentic (true/real) selves. If you can find your authentic self on your healing and aging journeys, you can begin to feel more connected to the world, even if you're homebound, bedbound, or restricted with your disabilities.

It's easy to say that you feel safer and more yourself when you are alone at home, but we all need some form of socialization in order to be healthy. Loneliness is shown to increase mental symptoms like depression and anxiety, as well as physiological illnesses, such as heart disease, obesity, stroke, and other issues, which scientists say are at worst levels than social smokers. Loneliness is itself a public safety issue, especially for those who are prone to loneliness, such as those who are elderly, those who are physically disabled, those with certain personality disorders, those with certain mental disorders that keep them homebound, etc.

Shielding can still involve socialization, whether it be online or just going outside for a very limited time, such as being masked while socially distanced outside (not indoors) with a trusted person who is also vaccinated and masked and socially distanced. You can limit your time to 1 hour or less while outside. You can still avoid all indoor contact with others, but you could invite trustworthy friends to see you outside while 6 feet apart and masked, so long as they are vaccinated and boosted.

Regarding your possible type of multiplicity or identity issues, you could ask a therapist to see if your feeling like different people has anything to do with a dissociative disorder, or perhaps it may be a separate symptom relating to autism spectrum disorders. When dissociation isn't a factor, some psychologists will use "multiplicity" as a key term to describe your feeling like different people, your feeling the need to change for others or for alleviating your own insecurities with others, etc. If you dissociate while you feel you are switching personalities, such as feeling like you aren't real in the world or like the world doesn't seem real to you, then that could be more of an indicator of a dissociative disorder. Only a true dissociation specialist can diagnose you with that, as many psychiatric and psychological professionals aren't trained properly in the dissociative disorders for assessments, diagnoses, and/or treatments. You can see if what you are struggling with is perhaps separate from autism or in conjunction with having experienced interpersonal traumas related to discrimination, rejection, inappropriate childhood upbringings, bullying in school, constant attacks on your identity for being "different," etc. It is something that hasn't been looked at as a traumatic experience itself, but I could see how having a disability as a child could impact the way others treat you, and in turn create adverse childhood experiences, which may be considered traumatic, and thus create post-trauma symptoms such as dissociation. Dissociative disorders are thought to be brought on by childhood traumas. So if you do have a dissociative disorder, you likely have multiple, complex childhood traumas that brought about your symptoms.

Hopefully you are able to find the treatment you need to manage your symptoms.

I'm still working on managing mine.

I'd have more luck booking a flight to the moon than trying to get a Dr appointment right now!


Here GP's are being told to prioritize getting boosters done for everyone by the end of January and regular appointments are put back.


I'm still waiting for booster the vulnerable were supposed to have been all done by now!


Besides I'm happy as I am now, it's just taken me a long time to understand 'me' fully but I got there in the end!


Going by many other women's post who are going through peri-menopause it seems a 'normal thing' to feel your personality has changed, drift apart from friends because you no longer feel you have anything in common or some have even mentioned falling 'out-of-love' with their partners.

I have been seeing my sibling and his partner around once a month for either a BBQ or sunday lunch. My stepmum called down with a xmas card and some money for me and a knitted snowman to put under my tree..its cute!


Right now we're been told to avoid/reduce social contacts if we don't want to be in isolation for xmas day. Just crossing fingers and hoping family don't get it before then now and xmas day having to be cancelled.

@InkyTinks - I hope Christmas doesn't get cancelled for you. And I hope your symptoms are manageable for the perimenopause. I don't know how I'll deal with perimenopause when I get it full-blown. Would that mean that my alternate personalities will split themselves, too? Or will I just dissociate more? Eek!

I went walking with my rec rehab T today, and we both are boosted and wearing masks outside. It was a short walk, and we were outside, so very safe. That's about the highlight of my day today. I'm indoors the remainder of the day.

Sunday I meet a couple of friends outside to hand them gifts. One is making me shortbread as a gift, which will be a huge treat for me. I've never tried shortbread before. I can't wait to reheat it and eat it in the safety of my own home.

All of my friends and family and even landlord loved their Christmas gifts, so I'm glad. I told them that their Christmas cards will be late, but they are on the way, too.

I just have a few gifts left and then I'm done for the holidays.

A friend of mine mailed me a gift, so I'm getting that surprise today.

Thats great! We aren't allowed to open our xmas presents until xmas day usually..with a few exceptions ..(something too big or awkward to wrap) I don't get my card from them until xmas day as I go over for dinner, so just get them at the same time!


I do buy myself a new pair of PJ's for xmas Eve which I wear after I've a got shower and washed my hair before bed - as don't get time xmas morning... have my dog to walk he gets a good long run round a nature park for a couple of hours, open his pressies, give him breakfast and play with some of his new toys with him for a bit then go and get ready to go for dinner and being picked up (as I can't drive).


It's a nice afternoon out and change of 4 walls for me and I get waited on and spoiled for an afternoon!


Family are usually busy as they work full time and have their own lives too, so I don't actually usually even get to see them once a month, think it's only cos of pandemic and cos they know I haven't been able to see anyone else or go anywhere. (other than an empty field with the dog!).


I'll enjoy another few months with my new games then hopefully spring/summer will see a drop in omicron and I will have had my boosters and safely meet more people without worrying about being hospitalised if they breathe on me!

Our PM has decided NOT to add more restrictions until after new years eve now - must be worried about being voted out at next election after all the cock-ups and figures he'll be more popular with the younger ones who want to go out and party!


I have no plans to go out NYE. my siblings partner ...its their birthday in January though, ordered their presents but they want to go to a restaurant..I haven't been out to a public place since the pandemic started and don't even know whether I will have had my booster by then!


I'm kinda hoping we will have moved into tighter restrictions by then so we can just have a small party at their house, just us,

@InkyTinks - I'm so sorry you are still not boosted. I've stayed home for NYE for many years, even before the pandemic. You're not alone if you stay home; I think many of us plan on not going out that night. It's too risky, even with a booster. The booster will work 2 weeks after, so the time to get boosted for this event would have been around Dec. 13 or 14, to be safe.

I hope you are able to celebrate New Years in some meaningful way.

I have wine, but I don't feel like drinking at all. I would rather pop open my sparkling apple cider or drink my Diet Coke.

Thank you for sharing your updates here. It helps me to know that I'm not alone in the struggle, even though I'm boosted.

I'm wondering why they haven't boosted you yet. Is the wait that long in your country?

I think it is because I'm house-bound, need a home visit, live alone and live rurally. Also the fact I can't take the standard one given out and they have to stay a bit longer to make sure I don't get a life threatening allergic reaction to it. (means they don't get as many others done that day!)


Most of the big 'walk-in' vaccination centres are in the cities and because our PM opened it up to younger ones too all the young and more able are able to go, queue for hours and get jabbed (there's pressure on parents to get kids jabbed in the holidays before they return to school too 'so schools can stay open') and it makes gov't look good that so many have been done!...despite the fact many in care homes or needing home visits who are still stuck in shielding..have still not had theirs!

Basically we're been left to fend for ourselves now..the gov't have decided the CEV groups don't officially exist then they don't have to provide extra services any more!


They don't want to tell us we have to shield because evidence shows it impacts MH so if we decide ourselves to continue with shielding then it's our own personal decision/responsibility and the Govt is not 'legally responsible' for making vulnerable people's MH worse!


They give out half hearted advice but don't make anything legal so consequently not many follow the advice!

The devolved nations (Scotland,Wales and NI) have their own stricter rules. Unfortunately I come under the part ruled by 'Bumbling Boris' whose more interested in making money than saving lives!

I am so sorry you are put in that position.

Do you have any friends or family to help you? There's got to be some advocate-based organization to help people in your position.

I don't know much about that area or your country, and how it is connected with Scotland, Wales, and Norther Ireland, but it sounds like your government has failed you at worst, overlooked you at best. It's sad when governments prioritize money over health and public safety.

Do you know your neighbors? Are you friends with them? Can they help in any way?

Do you do Zoom meetings or safe outside meets standing six feet or more apart in masks? Sometimes human connection in any safe way possible can really help with depression and this thing that we go through while shielding.

I've been shielding on my own for nearly 2 years. No one told me to do that, but I knew it was too dangerous for me to leave my apartment. I do what I can, and I am fortunate to have a booster. But I didn't use the booster as a tool to get me to go outside more. It's simply to help me not die from any possible shared air space affecting me in this apartment building.

I'm literally waiting for this pandemic to be over - whether in a year or 5 years.

I'm hoping I survive that long. I'm hoping I don't go so crazy that I forget who I am completely.

If I were your neighbor, I would encourage us to meet outside once a month or more frequently, and for us to just walk and talk about anything. I'd probably be researching ways you can find a safe booster, and a safe treatment team to administer it to you. I'd probably try to advocate online for your behalf.

But that's my wish. My energy levels prevent me from doing that which I would love to do to help others. The problem is my execution. I really jumble up my thoughts and words, which are riddled with mixed emotions. So I am in no position to help anyone. All I can do is say some things I know and react - sometimes concurrently. My responses confuse people sometimes - not all the time.

I hope you are able to find all the help you need.

Forgive me, but I forgot if you said you had a therapist or not. A therapist would be a huge help.

What is your country like with healthcare? Do you have universal healthcare? What do you see are the pros and cons to your healthcare system?

So many of us in the US take our healthcare system for granted. There are many disparities here, and it costs us a fortune. The less affluent barely get their healthcare needs met, whereas people like me can get more than the average healthcare. Still, my physical health is deteriorating, but I'm getting good mental healthcare, for now. It wasn't always this way for me, especially when I was living in poverty.

Are you financially secure? Do you have enough money to live on? How are you getting by?

Hey @InkyTinks are you considered a "vunerable person" by UK standards?

yeah..my vaccine has been due since the end of November! (6 months before they changed it to 3).


I guess the housebound aren't a priority as we don't go anywhere so unlikely to catch it!

I saw family xmas day they are my bubble, but they have had to go back to work and there's more danger of me getting it sitting at walk in centre for hours suddenly having contact with many strangers than staying at home and waiting for one nurse to come and do mine (who has hopefully already been vaccinated or tested negative that day!)

It doesn't help that the last one brought the wrong one with them and I had to email GP surgery again they've been closed for the bank holiday so hopefully I'll hear from someone in the new year about when they can return with the right vaccine!!


I may have mentioned on another post I can't speak under pressure so neighbours think I'm 'deaf and dumb' so other than waving and saying 'morning' when I pass(I nod to acknowledge them) we don't really have conversation.


The lady next door emails me occasionally but she's currently in hospital with a broken arm after a fall. (cos there's no home carers available to go and dress her etc) Think they have too many off sick as they tested positive, which is probably why our small surgery is struggling to stay running too


I won't be going out NYE anyway...hate it.. too overwhelming for me....but was hoping to see siblings partner on or near their birthday in a couple of weeks so can give them a card/gift. Hopefully the booster will have been done by then!

@InkyTinks I hope they give you the booster soon. It's been far too long for them to constantly ignore you like that. Can you try contacting them again to see if they can get you boosted any sooner?

well guess what happened today???



Another nurse knocked on door at lunch time...and she had....Pfizer...again!!!


I tried explaining everything to her (via text to speech on ipad) and she said she would go back to their base (she's not from my GP surgery but part of the national vaccination program) and see if they had any AZ left there and text me..so now waiting to see if this nurse will do what she said she would!


If there's any left it might get done today...if not hopefully she will order some more and come back after the bank holiday with it!!!


Still no reply to email from GP surgery... I really need to find another but they're so far and I can't drive..you also can't register with a new one virtually..has to be in person so they can give you an health check

if I didn't need a medication daily that was 'prescription only' in my country I would leave anyway!!!

UPDATE - well finally found a nurse that knows how to sort stuff! .

She returned with a AZ vaccine so finally I got my 3rd dose! .

no side effects yet, only really got a mild headache last time, she just told me to wait 4 hours before taking a paracetomol if I get an headache again.


Hopefully I won't have to go through all this every time they tell us we need a Booster!!

@InkyTinks - YAY! Congratulations! Long overdue, but finally! You are boosted with the safe AZ, yay! I'm so so happy for you! I was waiting for this post.

I hope you have a speedy recovery from the vaccine. Let us know how you're doing, if you're up for it.

Also, happy new year, too! I'm sure we'll talk before the new year though.

Thanks....well I don't have headache yet..its 21.45pm here ..last time I had headache by 8pm..maybe it will have kicked in tomorrow morning!



Hope I don't feel too rough as doggy will still need his walkies!