I forgot to mention. My cat’s ultrasound was inconclusive. The vet (a different vet, the original is on vacation this week) emphasized that his spleen is enlarged. She said it could be an infection or, again, cancer. She ordered a bartonella test as he recently had fleas (they both did, really terrible infestation, took us two months to even get ahold of it). Said the original vet should have done that first. She ordered a urine culture because his bladder walls are thickened and there’s “debris” floating around, but all that would really prove is he has lower urinary tract disease which I’m already aware of because he had surgery for it two years ago. He’s on a urinary diet to prevent the crystals from becoming too big to pass.

She really emphasized cancer though. At first I didn’t agree, but I’m not sure now. Before the vet he was acting the same, bright eyed and everything, but now…I don’t know. He seems increasingly lethargic. His eyes look hooded, like he’s too tired to open them all the way, and he’s not reacting to pets and scratches as enthusiastically. He is not hiding, being quite affectionate as always, but maybe that’s because he knows he isn’t going to last much longer? Maybe he’s seeking comfort, or knows me so well he knows I’ll need comfort. Maybe I’m just grasping at straws here.

I’ll be just devastated if he passes so soon, he’s not even six. He’s one of my favorite cats I’ve ever had. Never so much as a hiss out of him his whole life. But cats can’t last forever, I suppose. I would not be interested in another cat, not right away at least. I still have my other cat. She is good natured as well but not nearly as affectionate. Rarely comes over for pets. Hardly ever sits on my lap. No, Cheeto’s my buddy. I just hope if it is cancer I find out soon so I can prepare myself and give him palliative care. I don’t want him to be in too much pain.

Sigh.