Everyday I am depressed to some extent or another. Every day I am thinking about suicide. I am so tired of feeling this way. I don't have the courage to kill myself & I know better than to mention being suicidal to a "professional". So I'm stuck in this never ending loop. I'm on 3 different meds for depression and it seems like it helps but then other times..... I don't know how to explain it. I hate being dependent on meds but that's where I'm at. The only reason I am taking them and seeing a Dr is to keep my marriage.