Thanks so much everyone, I appreciate the responses and I’ve been thinking about them.

It got me thinking about why it bothers me so, because it’s absolutely right it’s not my responsibility. I’m thinking it’s mostly because he does have these esteem issues, but also because he’s got these serious health issues going on, I’m worried about that, and no I can’t do anything to change it.

When I see him (not all that often) I do listen, but I’ll bear in mind not listening beyond what I’m okay with. I know he’s very fond of her, and yes it’s very true no one really knows what’s going on in a relationship, I guess he maybe forgets to tell me the good stuff so I’m not getting a balanced picture.