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Originally Posted by Etcetera1
OK I have a question about mindfulness. Where you put in a bit of distance and are an observer and you are supposed to just let the undesirable feelings, emotions, emotional thoughts pass.
So, if I try to just let the emotions pass instead of trying to shut them down, dismiss them, or actively push them away, especially when they have already became too strong - then what exactly should I do?
Do I just observe from a large distance, or do I actively try to tune into the emotional state actively? Do I try to maintain and feel the emotional state as long as I can until I'm drained of its energy?
Also please note that the thing about letting the emotions "pass" is unclear to me because I do not experience my emotions as waves. They are either "on" or "off". "On" while I try to pay attention and while I'm able to have emotional energy. "Off" otherwise. No waves. Does that matter for mindfulness?
One last question. The emotional thoughts linked with these undesirable emotions, feelings, if the thoughts themselves are so intense and negative that you find it hard to just observe and accept them, what do you do? Can there be a way for you to just see them as just your feelings, you feeling these feelings, emotions and thoughts, rather than them being about you or about anyone else or any situation?
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I guess the best way I have of explaining this is like watching your emotions pass as if they're cars on a highway. Not approaching the cars on the highway, but just letting them go by.
I feel like this can work during meditation. During mindfulness (I make the distinction between meditation and mindfulness where meditation is the formal practice and mindfulness is the everyday awareness you get from meditation), I like to just think I have distance from my emotions, and I don't have to give into them. It's harder than it sounds.
I think the really hard part is just letting those tough emotions "go". But it can take years, honestly, for that to happen. I like to think mindfulness and meditation are just a process towards getting healthier.
Hope that helps.