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eskielover · Mar 12, 2022, 06:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Etcetera1

OK I have a question about mindfulness. Where you put in a bit of distance and are an observer and you are supposed to just let the undesirable feelings, emotions, emotional thoughts pass.

So, if I try to just let the emotions pass instead of trying to shut them down, dismiss them, or actively push them away, especially when they have already became too strong - then what exactly should I do?

Do I just observe from a large distance, or do I actively try to tune into the emotional state actively? Do I try to maintain and feel the emotional state as long as I can until I'm drained of its energy?

Also please note that the thing about letting the emotions "pass" is unclear to me because I do not experience my emotions as waves. They are either "on" or "off". "On" while I try to pay attention and while I'm able to have emotional energy. "Off" otherwise. No waves. Does that matter for mindfulness?

One last question. The emotional thoughts linked with these undesirable emotions, feelings, if the thoughts themselves are so intense and negative that you find it hard to just observe and accept them, what do you do? Can there be a way for you to just see them as just your feelings, you feeling these feelings, emotions and thoughts, rather than them being about you or about anyone else or any situation?

From personal experience & also having had DBT for years with my wonderful T.....here is what I do:

When I get emotions I don't desire, I realize that they upset the peace & balance that is normal in my life now. At that time, rather than just let them pass, I analyze the cause & I log it in my mind. Then I let go of the emotion. If it comes up again & I analyze it to be the same cause, then I analyze what ACTION I need to take to stop the situation from happening again. Sometimes I give it more times than others. There is ALWAYS an underlying cause to these negative emotions especially if they keep reoccurring based on the same cause. Taking action replaces the negative emotion though there may be anxiety involved it taking action, it is GOOD ANXIETY, not bad anxiety & is a normal part of taking action in protecting yourself. Residual anxiety may exist for awhile after taking action & the emotion you allowed to "pass" should be resolved by the action. We have to be mindful because sometimes allowing an emotion to "pass" is ignoring a problem. Emotions & anxiety are in us for a reason & that is usually as an indication that a problem exists we need to resolve. Sometimes the resolution does take time & observation & mindfulness as to the best way to handle it.....that is where the radical acceptance comes in....we accept that we feel the emotion is something being felt while we work on resolving the issue causing it.