Oh I don’t think it’s easy to leave at all! I stayed in questionable relationships myself and found hundred excuses. When I said I think you should leave, I didn’t mean downplaying how hard it is or that you must pack your bags now. I was just trying to explain that if I and likely others on here think you might be better off, so does your therapist just based on what you described.

But things aren’t always that black and white. Therapist might see things differently when she knows more details or sees your husband too.

I might be wrong of course but I heard couples therapy isn’t recommended when abuse is present. Instead of that individual therapy is much more beneficial.

Maybe therapist would take on a couple but I’ve read and heard from various people that therapist will work with clients individually but not together. I think it could be too dangerous for the abused party to be there together and therapist might be liable.

I know people who tried couples therapy with abusive partner and they always had he$$ to pay at home after a session, so they might be downplaying it in a session to avoid a fight at home. Or therapists side with whoever charms them the most. Typically an abuser. So abuse victim is in a huge disadvantage.