Quote:
Originally Posted by smileygal
Sorry feel like I'm taking over a bit here now but some more thoughts
Few thoughts on this
I have this issue too. When you go out of your way not to do something i.e actively try not to annoy someone or overstep a boundary and then 'bam't they say that you have or did it can be incredibly painful. Far more so than someone who wasn't thinking too much about it in the first place I imagine.
For me I think it's more than just an inability to take criticism or be told something you did is or was annoying. When I was a child these were literally what saved me and kept me safe. My ability to read situations, people, keep under the radar, not annoy people. It became who I was I guess someone I at some point ended up being tied to my self worth as a person.
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Yeah ive been told im being manipulative when i try to avoid these accusations by preloading the situation so to speak. You cant have it where you are perfect and always anticipating and trying to cancel out the other person's response. How is that a fair adult relationship? Its not, its childish. I never do anything wrong.
Like smileygal said, it kept us alive at one point. I learned how to not tick my mother off. I learned to stop asking for whatever it was - memorably a kiss on the cheek when she left for work. Somebody getting really ticked at me still works to motivate me. Its about the only thing that does.