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Originally Posted by nottrustin
LT what I find the most disturbing is that he doesn't understand distress tolerance. That seems to be fundamental when it comes to trauma therapy. When I started seeing my current therapist we realized early on that until we could open my window of stress tolerance we would never realy be able to deal with my trauma to the point it no longer effected my life. We have been working on it for almost 5 years. We have made some progrss but it takes time and a lot of hard work. She is amazing in very gradually helping me to increase my window.
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This is literally what I talked about with my T, who is trained in trauma therapy, today. We literally are just starting to talk about trauma and what it means to me, and she noticed when I was starting to become overwhelmed, and stopped me. Had me ground (I like to find things in the room).
Also LT: I’ve been thinking a lot about how your T expects you to trust him by now. My T tonight said (after I told her I would have to trust her words on a subject), “You don’t have to trust me. That is absolutely okay.” And it was a sort of relief.
Sorry- a ramble!
Quote:
Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight
He has said he'd be open to my doing EMDR with someone else while seeing him, so that could be an option. I'll look into it. I had contacted an internal family systems therapist maybe a year and a half ago, and Dr. T also seemed open to my working with both of them at once. Though I don't know if I burned the bridge with that therapist by saying I wasn't ready to do that work at that time--I feel like I left him hanging for a while. I'd feel reluctant to reach out again unless I was definitely ready.
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Unless this T is a terrible T, they should 100% understand that you weren’t ready. I see two T’s, and it always has worked out, as they take different approaches, and we don’t exactly focus on the same thing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nottrustin
I hope I never come across as saying someboy should leave their therapist. I think you have a therapist that is beneficial to you. I recognize your frustrartion which is why I recommend seeing a second person. I have seen and experienced the benefits of two people with very different strengths and approaches.
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Just reiterating what I think, lol.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight
Thanks. So this is the case, that I can do both DBT classes and my regular T? I got the sense when I looked into it years ago that it was like, do the DBT class plus have a DBT and that's all you can do in that time. Which is what kept me from doing that before, that I didn't want to switch from ex-T at the time. Maybe it was just the one particular program I saw? I suppose I'll see what's offered around me.
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As far as I know, they don’t have to be mutually exclusive. I am starting a DBT group in a week or two, and this is on top of seeing two T’s! haha.
I also want to say that even though I have been off-put by some things Dr. T says/does, I would never urge you to change T’s if you don’t want to/aren’t ready.
My last T I saw for 5 years, and it was probably 4.5 years too many. I didn’t see it at the time, but my anxiety over our relationship never lowered much. I only realized how anxious and fraught I was all time over it because of my relationship with my current T’s now. It is a world of difference. It also does not mean the anxiety has gone away, but I am able to bring it up easier, and it happens much less often.