Hello again everyone!

It's me, Jane, formerly whatever2013.

It's so good to see you all again!

I had my yearly manic episode during this Spring and Summer-to-date. I had tons of fun and lots of adventures. I met many people, even a former Black Panther! But i did a lot of foolish online shopping and started a shoe collection that was silly as my feet take special shoes and i only wear one single pair and those are sparkly Crocs i bought in person at Nordstrom. I figure i will consign the collection next Spring and try and recoup some of my investment.

I even had a romance with a younger man in June, young enough to be my son! He really pursued me and it was great for my ego! I broke it off as i feel i am better off on my own but it was heady days and i have great memories.

My depression is starting to creep back in and my boundless energy has evaporated. I keep waking up far too early and morning is the worst time of day for me. It just seems endless and indeed, when i wake up at 5:00am it's eight hours til 1:00pm and the time is long. I used to be able to sleep away the day while depressed, but that's not possible any more due to age (55) and / or reduced meds. I relax and enjoy my home as best i can and rest for hours (without sleeping).

I had COVID and that put the brakes on my mania nicely. I was getting tired of it. I just had mild symptoms of COVID. I made a full recovery with ease.

I was unaccountably kind to people in my drop-in while manic and got told i have a heart of gold! I even gave an anonymous gift of food to the former Black Panther when he talked about going hungry. But i was aghast later to hear him talk very negatively about homeless people and thought perhaps i had been hasty in my generosity. It was very discouraging and i have decided not to return to my drop-in for that reason and also i don't have the energy anymore with my depression. I just feel uneasy about being so kind to him when he's so ignorant and also upset with myself for being such a bad judge of character.

But i guess it's never a mistake to be kind and if the results were unexpected i just have to accept it. I didn't give the gift with any strings attached or even expect any credit for it. Maybe he will remember the generosity at some point in the future and realize it's evidence that there IS good in the world. I know when i was in crisis in the late nineties and i asked someone for a quarter for the phone and they gave me ten dollars, i never forgot it.

Looking forward to catching up with you all!

@Jennifer 1967:

I really enjoyed coloring my hair turquoise for this manic episode. A new 'do can really lift one's spirits!

@Soupe du jour:

It seems you are on the move again! I haven't read far enough back in the thread to see WHERE you are moving so i will stay tuned with baited breath for more news!