Thanks @*Beth* for your concern. I am upset about the haldol but I fear there is nowhere to turn honestly. Vraylar did the exact opposite to me as it’s supposed to do. I can’t remember any other second generation APs that I haven’t already tried. I can’t remember if I tried abilify but I think I did and I think it was bad for me. But that may have been latuda. It’s a shame Zyprexa made me gain so much weight because I did well on that. Geodon also gives me memory issues. The pdoc I met with for my evaluation mentioned the new drug caplyta. I don’t know if it’s worth a shot.

I would just hate to have to go on SSDI. First of all I know it could take years to be approved. What am I supposed to do for money in those years? I would just feel like a failure, even though none of us who are on SSDI are failures in any way. I might try to get through this school year and then work part time in an office setting instead. Working directly with students anymore is just…so stressful! I really would love my class if the BD kid wasn’t in it. I left my school to get away from that. I wasn’t expecting to have to deal with screaming, destructive tantrums.

I know I’ll have to go on SSDI. I know that. I’m just trying to keep it away for as long as possible. I need to get off the haldol too, I really don’t want TD.

Thanks for everyone’s understanding, I appreciate it.