Thanks @*Beth* for your concern. I am upset about the haldol but I fear there is nowhere to turn honestly. Vraylar did the exact opposite to me as it’s supposed to do. I can’t remember any other second generation APs that I haven’t already tried. I can’t remember if I tried abilify but I think I did and I think it was bad for me. But that may have been latuda. It’s a shame Zyprexa made me gain so much weight because I did well on that. Geodon also gives me memory issues. The pdoc I met with for my evaluation mentioned the new drug caplyta. I don’t know if it’s worth a shot.

I understand so well. I have had zero luck with the new AP's. Seroquel does help me sleep so I suppose it's okay in a very, very low dose - but the weight gain from the higher dose was devastating to my health. The older AP's were so much more effective for me.

I was on Caplyta earlier this year. It didn't do anything for me one way or the other, but hey, it's worth a try. I don't think I'm a good judge of a lot of meds anymore; I've noticed that as I've gotten older meds don't have much effect on me - but then, my BD symptoms are not nearly as disturbing, either.

I would just hate to have to go on SSDI. First of all I know it could take years to be approved. What am I supposed to do for money in those years? I would just feel like a failure, even though none of us who are on SSDI are failures in any way. I might try to get through this school year and then work part time in an office setting instead. Working directly with students anymore is just…so stressful! I really would love my class if the BD kid wasn’t in it. I left my school to get away from that. I wasn’t expecting to have to deal with screaming, destructive tantrums.

With regard to SSDI, I wouldn't even take one step without a disability lawyer.

Your current job just sounds sooo stressful.

I know I’ll have to go on SSDI. I know that. I’m just trying to keep it away for as long as possible. I need to get off the haldol too, I really don’t want TD.

Again, I understand, on both accounts.

Thanks for everyone’s understanding, I appreciate it.