Today, Dr. T used the rather unfortunate analogy of a demilitarized zone to refer to the therapeutic boundaries between us. I asked about what crossing into that zone might look like. And he said I'd done so in saying I loved him without further explaining it (beyond that it wasn't romantic, which I'd thought was sufficient explanation?). That I'd definitely stepped back out of the zone now, probably further back than where I'd been before.

I said the irony of this was, I'd shared that because I felt safe and secure in the relationship. And now it felt less safe. He agreed on the irony and seemed a little sad about it. Said he thinks we can get back to where we were. Also said that he sees love (in general) at this one extreme end (he gestured), whereas I see it as this broad spectrum (he waved his hand back and forth). And that his reaction was about how he sees it. That it feels different now understanding how I view it.

I know that all probably sounds pretty negative, but it generally feels OK right now with him, like we're working things through. And there was a nice moment near the end when Dr. T was like, "Wow, look at that huge hawk!" Me; "Where?" He said I'd probably have to stand up to see it, so I did. He pointed, "In the tree right there," I still didn't see it. I moved a bit closer to him (still a couple feet away) so I could better follow his pointing, then I was like, "Oh! Wow!" It was a big hawk (maybe a red-tailed hawk?) perched in a tree maybe 10 feet from his window. Then it flew off.