My daughter has spent a couple of hours a week one on one with the mom of a friend.

She said she is getting something from that, that she didn't get from her mom.

I questioned that one.

She said, it's not much time together but it's real. She said her mom was either not available, or she was excessive in her love and praise and just not genuine.

Her mom also talked big about being a strong, educated empowered woman. Daughter has realized that mom wasn't, that she exploited me and took a lot of money from our household.

To that end.... I've been trying to figure out how my wife spent so much money on gas and at dollar tree type places. And how she seemed to have means to buy friends gifts and lunch, because I never saw that money coming from our account.

Then someone said, "She was probably buying visa gift cards to hide her spending." I asked the kids if they ever noticed gift cards around. My oldest said his mom bought them every time they went out and had several in her purse at any time.

Meanwhile, we took out a second mortgage to "renovate the house" and just used it to cover living expenses while she was unable to work due to illness.

So.... Yeah.... That's a whole other level of entitlement.

If she truly is a covert narcissist, then this is like a horror movie "final form" of the villain. This is who she always was, and I've been exploited and manipulated for years.

If she isn't a covert narcissist, if this is the culmination of alcohol and depression, then I still want to "save" her. Because I've never quit on anyone, ever. And I'm a sucker.