There's a saying: "People will tell you who they are. Believe them when they do."

Though I've been critiquing your wife as deceitful (which she is), she actually forewarned you . . . more than once . . . and in multiple ways. Look at what you wrote above. You glossed over things like that because you were in love. I'm able to look objectively at the narrative you present because I'm not emotionally involved. You can't switch off your feelings, but you do need to start thinking with your head.

Recognize that she is focused on her material security. She has been for a long time . . . as she flat-out told you. Believe her!

A contract was drawn up years ago "to protect HER assets?" That's interesting. (I got that out of one of your posts above.) What remains between the two of you now is strictly business. She has been - and is - focused like a laser on her material wellbeing going forward. That's what you need to understand. This is not about you having destroyed her spirit with your "low vibrations" and "negative energy." Please don't drink that kool aid.

Your wife and you each have biological children. Which of them do you think she cares most about? (She wants to be a great grandma.) You were good to her kids. But, when your troubled 8 year old needed care, she wasn't too invested. Supposedly, she got assaulted, and the child had to be sent away. I bet there's more to that story than meets the eye.

You don't want the kids and your folks to think badly of her. What they think is not for you to control. I endorse your decision to not run her down. (Even though she'ld gladly put you down to them - like she said about the GPS tracking.) When it's appropriate, give your family factual information. They will formulate their own conclusions. That is not your concern. The main fact is that she wants to end the marriage. You don't have to elaborate on that to anyone.

You still have responsibilities toward your own children, though they are grown. They are still yours. Invest in your relationship with them, if you are not estranged from them. Stay friendly with her kids, if that remains feasible, but allow a certain space and distance, so everyone has breathing room while things are in transition.