I have been normal on well-fitting medications for over 5 years now, but 6+ years ago I was so manic so due to not eating and taking a shower and washing my hair for days if not weeks, I had fruit flies around my hair. I did not realize I had, but I recently reviewed the progress notes from that hospitalization and to my horror read that. I have curly, easily tangled hair and the first thing that goes out the window when I escalate into mania is my ability to take care of it. Happened several times, during 2013, 2015, 2017 hospitalizations. But to the best of my knowledge, only once to the point of having fruit flies.

Now, looking at me, you would never guess that it happened in the past. But it did. So, even though sometimes I think that I must be well and do not need medications, the medical records paint a very different story.

In terms of why brain why, well, that is actually a hallmark of the illness that you do not think you have it.

Keep reality testing and fact checking.