I'm trying to decide if I need to try a higher dose of risperidone tonight (I'd only up it by .25)-this is something my psych said I could do without consulting him if I felt I needed to. My mood has been slowly declining for a week and a half or two weeks but has crashed hard in the last few days. My anger will spike real fast over the dumbest things. And, at the grocery store today, because I already had so much anger and depression built up, I almost started crying because they didn't have one of the things I wanted to buy. I really don't want to up the risperidone because I don't want to deal with more side effects (I had some for a few days when I first started it but then they went away). I'm also worried that, if I up it, the side effects will get bad enough I'll have to change my antipsychotic med again. I've had so many changes of my antipsychotic med that I think we're running out of options...But, if I'm going to up it, it would be best for me to do so tonight since I do not work tomorrow so could easily stay home to deal with any side effects.

The depression symptoms are so bad I've been neglecting my grad school work-I'm not sure how I'm going to get my paper done by Wednesday. I also think I got shaky today because I hadn't had enough to eat since my appetite is completely gone.

Everything I am feeling does feel like a mixed state-and how I typically feel when I need a med adjustment. I went 2 or more weeks with, at most 6.5 hours of sleep each night which is significantly less than I need so maybe that triggered something?

I could wait until next weekend to up the meds in order to see if this passes on it's own but that risks things getting worse...

Balancing this stuff sure is hard.