ah so i am also wondering if you are not responding to my check-in email because it's too much therapy-related, and if that's the case, I really should know better after so many years, but... it honestly was just, me being caught up in the excitement of clarity; and there's also the possibility that you've read on my poetry blog again and realized a couple of the new ones are more than a little bit about/to you and you just plain don't know how to respond. I get both of those reasons, and thinking about them as why, feels a lot better than worrying you are dead. Now maybe I will stop googling obituaries. I really hate my brain. I'm the one that left therapy, but I still.can't.let.you.go.