Thanks, Jersey. I do think I'm probably keeping my Monday appointment now (we had a brief email exchange). But I was having a similar thought about dropping at least to twice a week for now (I generally go three times--was working on reducing at one point, then life stuff happened), then maybe one sometime in the future. What you mention is part of it, but his not being particularly available lately made me realize that I've become dependent on his availability. And I don't want to be that way.

One part of the exchange (just one email each--well, aside from a thanks email from me) was also about working on other ways to help me cope with strong emotions. Which is something I'd realized on my own (as I'd tried many things that weren't working), but he also mentioned. So we're going to talk about that. It could involve, say, my going to a DBT group and/or focusing on other methods.

Maybe in some way, this whole experience will ultimately help me to move forward and become better at coping on my own and with the support of those in my outside life (though I did get lots of support on here and from a couple friends this past week). Like it's serving as a wake-up call that relying on him (and R) is not a long-term, fail-proof strategy.