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Originally Posted by 123Luke123
I am really dependent on her. She has told me that some people rely on their therapist their entire lives and I think I'm one of those people who cannot exist without having someone who cares.
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It sounds almost as if you're addicted to... something about this situation as well as the earlier situation that you described in your original post. It feels good to you, you don't like the idea of doing without it, and even if you knew without a doubt that it was harming you, you'd still crave it. Although addictions often involve abusing alcohol or drugs, they don't have to. Here at MSF we have an
Addictions forum with sub-forums focusing on gambling addiction, TV and Internet addiction, sexual addictions, and smoking.
I personally haven't heard of any recovery programs designed for people with addictions either to abuse generally or to abuse by a therapist. Even if such programs are nonexistent (or too hard to find), I think you might still benefit from talking/listening to people who are dealing or have dealt with other kinds of addictions.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 123Luke123
My therapist doesn't just say words, she actually does actions to show just how much she cares. I like having someone who cares, but it feels damaging at the same time.
Why did she have to say she cares about me? It makes this so much worse. Why did she have to say she won't abandon me? These words are so painful to me. I think they're painful because it's exactly what I always wanted to hear, but it's coming from her. I was abandoned and I'm terrified of being abandoned again. All I ever wanted was someone to care and she said she cares.
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In the language of addiction recovery, I think your therapist could easily pass for co-dependent.