Yes, we read them to each other. Reading the one I wrote was very emotional and he said he was brought to tears. His was shorter and very meaningful. I'm sure I will need to consult it in the future as I tend to start second guessing whether the relationship is really real at times.

One time I told him I wanted to be special to him, and he told me that even if that were the case, he couldn't tell me. I've always felt like there was something special between us though. I know it sounds so egotistical to say that. It was just a feeling I had, but I also really distrusted that feeling. He said a few things in his letter that lead me to think I should have trusted my gut feeling on that. Unless he's just telling me what I want to hear. My brain is maddening at times. Like that X Files poster, "I want to believe".

We talked last night about some of what I was feeling and it helped. He suggested we play a game next week, so I think we're going to play Codenames Duet on Monday. It might be nice to do something light hearted with him.

Next week is going to be so difficult. My heart may break.