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Apr 04, 2025, 10:44 PM
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Wanderer of Distant Stars
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Member Since: May 2012
Location: North Carolina, USA. Originally New York
Posts: 26,241
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Thank you so much @Blueberrybook @raspberrytorte - this situation has got my insides ripped up. January and February were easier because I was reaching out to other guys, BUT I was crashing and burning because they were all surface stuff, and my broken heart wanted something serious. I know I wait around for emails, and I know he left me when I was sick - but I can't let go. It's SO hard. Maybe if I felt better about myself I could, but I am so lonely, and I can't date, so I am just stuck in the THING.
The only solace I have is in my faith, which I am holding on hard to. Tonight, I went to the Stations of the Cross and met with the priest about Sunday's mass. I hope he lays his hands on my head again and prays over me. This is the last week I will be going up to the altar until baptism.
I have so much I have to do and focus on, and that's what I'm going to do. I want a career, I want to work with my church, and I want to write my book and tell my story. I can't let myself get caught up in this lovesick behavior.
Tomorrow is a cheat day for me. I plan on doing absolutely NOTHING. Just laying on my couch, watching "The War of the Rohirrim" and binging some more "Last of Us" - I am going to enjoy myself, because I am blessed enough that I can.
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