We're staying here because... because this is the best city in the entire world! We just got here a year ago, and really love it - our neighborhood, the bike riding scene (really important to both of us), the Pacific NW in general. I did tell him that if he wants to look anywhere else for a job, I would sell the house and go with him, or we could rent the house out for a while until he was ready to come back. But I think the additional "scope" just makes it more overwhelming for him.

He tried school last fall, and while I was gone for a few weeks, that was when he crashed hard the first time. When I came home, he hadn't even left our small apartment where we had been living, for at least two weeks. I don't dare suggest school again. His answer to that, though, is "it would take too long before I could start working". Now, you and I know that the obvious answer to that is that the sooner he starts, the sooner he finishes, but we're not him...

Good question on the limit. I have no idea. Every time I thought I had set a limit, I fly right past it when he's down. I've surpassed my limit about a hundred times now. I don't really threaten to leave, because 1) I'd probably regret it immediately and want to take my words back, 2) I'd worry incessantly about him, and 3) if he had cancer and couldn't work, I wouldn't leave him -- so why now? I wish I could make myself stop loving him because the OBVIOUS answer is that he isn't very good for me (if I'm just thinking about me, not about us). But I don't want to leave - I just want him to be better and for us to have some semblance of a "normal" relationship. I can't imagine ever finding someone better than he is, depression/joblessness or not.

Sigh.

Ian is going to be a-ok!