I don’t have any support either and all my efforts to make connections haven’t worked out. People ghost me, are superficial, judgmental, emotionally immature, etc. And now I have so little energy left to keep trying that it seems like giving up on it is the thing to do. It’s harder to find support than it is to cope alone. And I’ve had such bs to deal with.

It doesn’t help that my upstairs neighbor is always having guests. They stay the night and sometimes for days. Last year his entire family stayed a month, they looked like family anyway. Point is, how can one have so many people in their life? They are night people and not considerate at all. Heavy footed, waking me up with showers in the middle of the night. And now I need a procedure tomorrow that requires sedation and they insisted I have someone to pick me up. I “must” have someone, they said. Soul crushing or sapping culture and health care in this $hithole country.

I had a hard time getting a ride from the nonprofit that serves seniors. It’s volunteer based but nobody stepped up. It was touch and go for days and they finally got their driver to do it. My neighbors aren’t friendly or even neighborly. If I couldn’t get anyone I’d have to sit there until the drug wears off. Then take the bus.

Now I have to sit in this apartment all day, fasting and listening to my neighbor and his guests. He had to pick this week. Why can’t he go visit them instead of having them come here?! No one to distract me, talk to me, take me somewhere, etc. And why did they HAVE to tell me I might die during the procedure???!!! TMI! It may be extremely rare but I didn’t need to know that. Only one person would care but they wouldn’t know right away.



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