Quote:
Originally Posted by RDMercer
I also just clued in to how very young you were.
I’m a dad of teens.
If one of my kids experienced this and was left carrying this burden it would hurt me in my heart.
You didn’t hurt this girl.
Your boundaries were crossed, or you went along with it because you wanted love or because you gave into pressure.
You didn’t hurt her. You’re hurting. You don’t have any guilt towards her. None.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eksistor
I wish I could give you a simple answer to your question. It sounds like you did some things you really didn't want to do. But is it possible you didn't have any way of knowing how much it would hurt you at the time? Maybe it's not her you hurt but yourself by going against what you feel comfortable with. But it's tough, especially at such a young age, because we don't always know how it's going to make us feel at the time. Since you mentioned apologies, I almost get the feeling that you want to be forgiven, but not from her, rather from yourself.
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I really did love her, and i ultimately betrayed her by sending nudes to another girl. Granted, we were in like 8th grade so the crime may not be worth worrying about by adult standards, but at 14-15 that tore me apart. I was upset that i hurt her, upset that i lost her. I mentally changed myself on purpose to prevent myself from ever cheating again, but really i just abused myself every time i had a dirty thought like a dog being shocked. I think youre right about needing to forgive myself, but really i wouldnt have abused myself if i didnt deserve it to some capacity.