hey i can relate to how u feel. I feel i have avoidant disorder too. alot of things u said i feel the same way. I never let anyone in or close to me. I hate big groups although because im so shy that people forget im there and then i feel pointless.

I was also teased all through elementary and middle school which probably lead me to, what i think, is Avoidant PD.

sometimes i wish i wasnt like this...but sometimes i am glad i am...cause i keep my guard up and it saves me from alot of hurt.
If u ever need to talk, feel free to PM me, id be more than glad to talk to you