I have been controlling my alters so much lately. For the last month or so I have been ignoring them. I can't really tell you why....IDK. The only thing I can think of is that I feel like my T was pushing me too hard to try to draw, color and do other things in therapy that I was not willing to do with anyone other than my BF. I never told her that because I didn't realize it til now.

Every time she would ask me if I wanted to draw a picture of something or someone, I would say no. I just don't want to do it in FRONT of HER.

Part of me feels like she may not believe me about my alters. I won't let them out when I am out of the house....I can't....I must remain in control.

I know that I need to let them out when I am at home, but I think I am starting to think that they don't exist....even though I KNOW they do....

I guess I really just need some thoughts....if you have any...

Even just hugs would be ok....if you can spare any?

Thanks,
BJ