(((((((((((((((((((Jan))))))))))))))))))))))))

I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I've never had anyone close to me commit suicide so I guess I don't really have any advice, but I wanted to let you know I read your post and I hear your pain.

Being that you suffer from depression yourself, do you already see a therapist that could help you cope with this tragedy? Sometimes it is helpful to talk and get all the bad feelings out until they start to lessen in intensity.

hang in there,

ktgirl