Quote:
Originally Posted by BeckyC
I don't know if i can ask this here so srry if i am not. Ok... My abuser is coming over Sat (who just happens to be my mother and me her daughter) and i don't know how to deal with it. For over 20 years she sexually and physically tourtured me. I just broke away less than a year ago. I am very torn as the child part of me wants a mother but the adult part of me is very angry. Am i wrong for any of these feelings? Why didn't i just tell her no..
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My mother was my abuser too. Your feelings aren't wrong at all.
You deserve to be treated well.
I was trained to have no boundaries, no self, no ability to say No. But step by step I did say No, take a stand for myself, develop healthy boundaries, and get clear of abuse.
Wherever you are in your healing process, you are fine. You are okay and doing the best you can.
You could call her and say something like "Mom, my plans have changed, I'm not going to be available for a visit Saturday.". Or if need be you could even simply be away during that time, go do something fun for yourself.
