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#1
Oct 09, 2008, 10:26 PM
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I don't know if i can ask this here so srry if i am not. Ok... My abuser is coming over Sat (who just happens to be my mother and me her daughter) and i don't know how to deal with it. For over 20 years she sexually and physically tourtured me. I just broke away less than a year ago. I am very torn as the child part of me wants a mother but the adult part of me is very angry. Am i wrong for any of these feelings? Why didn't i just tell her no..
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#2
Oct 10, 2008, 09:10 AM
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Hi Becky, if you are not ready for this is there any way that you can stop her now from coming over? You can find other ways to meet that mothering need. For one there is therapy and then you can learn how to do it for yourself once you are ready. You don't need to keep trying to get what you need from people who will never give it to you. You are not wrong for any of your feelings. You have all your feelings for very good reasons...
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
 BeckyC
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#3
Oct 10, 2008, 06:34 PM
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Quote:
hey becky, i am so sorry to hear what your mother did to you. my heart goes out to you. i can understand you do not know how to deal with it. as in my own situation with my own family. i am glad you broke away, because i had to do that myself. i can understand you would want a mother, but also be very angry. you have every right to be angry at what was done to you. but i would not face her until you really feel you are ready too. its hard facing your abuser. i know because i have done it. do what you feel is best. but do not force yourself to face her, if you are not ready. take care. |
| BeckyC
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#4
Oct 13, 2008, 01:34 PM
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Quote:
You deserve to be treated well. I was trained to have no boundaries, no self, no ability to say No. But step by step I did say No, take a stand for myself, develop healthy boundaries, and get clear of abuse. Wherever you are in your healing process, you are fine. You are okay and doing the best you can. You could call her and say something like "Mom, my plans have changed, I'm not going to be available for a visit Saturday.". Or if need be you could even simply be away during that time, go do something fun for yourself. 
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| BeckyC
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#5
Oct 13, 2008, 11:18 PM
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I agree. If you are not ready, please contact her and tell her what was said above...now is not the time! TJ 
__________________
 Smooches! Hope you have a Beautiful, Blessed Day!Thyroid disorders can cause depression and can mimic bipolar disorder... Please read below regarding one form, hypothyroidism, and have your numbers checked...TSH, T3, T4, Free T3, Free T4, and Thyroid Antibodies (for Graves Disease and Hashimotos Disease (which mimics BP)
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| BeckyC
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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