Hi Everyone,

I am new here and was directed to this forum. I have been married for 18yrs. I found out in June that my husband has had a "friendship" with a co-worker. He swears there was no sex, but I simply cannot believe that. He says he wants to work things out and he truly loves me. Here is my dilemma... Trust never came easy to me. It was not until the last 3 years did I truly believe he would not cheat on me. Not only did I question his relationship with this person but he gave me the old line..."we are just friends". Well since all of this came out, I have realized he has developed (recently) a HUGE drinking problem. Like he is hiding bottles of rum in his car, boat, garage, you name he has hidden it there. I have found viagra in his car. I never knew he had viagra. He lied about where he got it then tells me it was for us. He told me he will not be rude to this person but will not contact her unless it is for business. She has been transferred to a location away from his but closer to our house! I am trying to work on the trust. I find myself snooping and spying all the time. I am seeing a counselor. He was seeing a counselor but has since stopped. We bought a marriage program to do at home...it has been 2 months and we have sat together to work on it 1 time. I have read 3/4 of the book and decided I am not doing this alone. We have had some times where we were able to reconnect but if I try to talk about how I am feeling, he gets an attitude. I am sooo confused. Any advice???