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That's okay, I know sometimes what I write can be a little confusing at times.
And to answer your questions honestly...no.
I mean, there are times when I'm sort out of it, but not really a blackout per say. Instead of seperate alts that switch back and forth it's more like several people living under one roof and the only reason why they'd ever come out to say and do stuff is if I'd let them so I'd never completely lose control or black out. It's like a step above voices but a step below alts.
So yeah, you can see why there is such a huge not trust thing going on.
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