I've had trouble even listening to music lately. I finally am able to listen to cello specific music again without feeling intense pain. Even enjoying bits of it.
But I'm still not sure I really want to go back to play after everything that's happened with me, and with music school.

I knew I loved the cello... that it's what I wanted to do.
But now I feel like the chance is wrested from me.
And that maybe it's not right after all. Music jobs can be pretty horrible.

Maybe computer stuff - at least there's money in that? Switch my major. Wish I could have played. For the rest of my life.
But also... do my homework and be done. Study, know the stuff and be done.

Lose lose situation.

I dunno.
I'm just really down.