thank you all so much for coming back to reply and share your stories. and also for your support and encouragement, guys.
one thing is that i am curious about how other people's experiences went, but also - i'm learning that there are good people out there who care, and this truly amazes me and makes me glad.
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Originally Posted by Junerain
(((((It was not you or something about you either)))))))))
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thank you, junerain. my T said he did not think that many people were bad, so that i must be encouraging them to treat me bad unconsciously. he said that it wasnt my fault i did this - i probably never learnt how to get ppl to treat me well - but all the same i was a bit upset by what he said. i don't go to him now anyway, i terminated after last session when he broke confidentiality.
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Originally Posted by stumpy
my pdoc who doesn't really know many of the details kind of sat there with a look of total shock and sadness on his face when he heard just a little of it and then said he was so sorry for me in such a kind voice...made me feel like he must be such a loving father
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yes, this is how i feel about my pdoc. i love picturing him as a dad (he has 2 children). i went through a really bad phase in 2007 when i was having intrusive memories all the time, and he was just so kind and gentle. didnt ask me for details, just gave me a chair to sit and made me comfortable. i dont remember much of what he said, because i was disociating so badly, but i do remember that he was just kind and safe. i had major kid-like love to him back them.
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Originally Posted by stumpy
i don't know if you have felt this yet but over time maybe...i felt such stength telling my story...no one believed me when i was little all those times when i told back then...but now as an adult... they do...and its real and it makes a world of difference...KIND OF MAKES YOU WANT TO TYPE IN BIG LETTERS...YA KNOW. AND THE MORE YOU TELL AND THE MORE ITS BELIEVED THE STRONGER YOU GET...ITS VERY EMPOWERING....AND HEALING.
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i'm so sorry no one believed you as a kid, stumpy
. i was always too scared to tell anyone - knew it would tear my family apart. i'm so glad you're getting that validation as an adult. i do relate to what you are saying though - about it being healing. after i told pdoc the first time, i went home, and i just felt so... exhilerated. here was someone who knew and still thought i was a good person. i am still at the beginning of this process, so i am still trying to find my way through the waters, but i'm glad to know that it does get more empowering. thank you for sharing that.