OK I called her tonight and was quite nervous but did a pretty good job of explaining my feelings. Luckily she was understanding because she had been afraid of similar things so we may have escaped relatively unscathed. We discussed that it would be a bit awkward since we each had feelings but that it's just the rules of life that certain things cause certain consequences and it would be worse (especially being coworkers), far worse, to do anything that would make things prohibitively awkward or embarassing. I don't think we are 100% out of the woods since we are still going to the play tomorrow night but we discussed some further plans that don't present as clear a risk as New Years Eve with a drink.
But I know now that not saying anything would have been ensuring horrible things to come.
Thanks for your help,
bb
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