what kinds of med changes, if you don't mind me asking? i'm trying to figure out what to expect. thank you for not making me feel alone with my not mentioning it earlier. i'm kicking myself for never having brought it up before. i've been seeing this guy every 2-3weeks for the past four years.

at the same time...
i've been flitting today between thinking all of you guys must be good people and are just being cautious, and then thinking that maybe this really *is* abnormal. but i find that so hard to believe. surely other people get stuff like this too when they're stressed? the "psychosis" word is just so... scary and full of doom.

and if this really is bad, then wouldn't i be not functioning properly? i'm still going to work every day and doing ok. maybe not up to usual standards, but nothing my boss or co-workers have commented on.

at the same time... i'm catching myself having some bizarre beliefs. i had a dream last night (but i guess i thought it was more like a revelation) where somehow i ended up in hospital and they gave me a shot to stop the hallucinations and delusions. then the dream repeated itself, but they gave me the shot in a different area. it hurt both times, i hate needles so much.

anyway, i guess i've been thinking that the reason this is over this week and was going last week was because they gave me the shot last friday? but of course i only had it revealed to me last night. but the events took place last friday, that was the revelation.

but i know it didnt happen because last friday i went to the movies with my friends. so maybe it's still happening. but the paranoia about being followed has stopped. and i havent been hearing anything. so maybe it has stopped? are these thoughts in themselves cause for concern? are they delusional? i don't know. jesus.