Vett,
They say when you hit rock bottom the only way is up. It seems to me you couldn't feel much lower. Look up Vett. There must be something you see. The struggle to get out of your hole will be tough but you can only take it one step at a time. One day at a time, one hour at a time if necessary.
Many of us have been there. I have been there. The place where all my bad choices and the life I had seemed so much bigger than any solution.

It's hard to find a place to start but I think you did that today. You posted. That was a start. It was something in the right direction. It's hard to open your heart up and ask for help but you have done it. I know you are stronger than you think you are. I know you see what you want to be and how you want your life to be but I also know the road to get there seems so long.

You and I have talked before. Don't look at the big picture. You will only be overwhelmed and paralyzed. Look at one thing. focus on that and make the change. Then you will have a feeling of accomplishment and a little more courage to take on the next.

It will take some time and some work but you will get there. You don't have to reach all your goals, just some of them before you start feeling better.

I believe in you Vett. I know you can make a step. You only need one.

Lots of hugs for you,
Heidu

The highest reward for a person's toil is not what they get for it, but what they become by it.
John Ruskin