Quote:
Originally Posted by anxietygirl
I absolutely hate my husband. He is the most selfish person I have ever met. I recently graduated and told him he could quit his job and focus on school full-time because I would make enough to handle the expenses. He agreed to help more around the house. I worked full-time during school and sometimes overtime and went to school full-time. He has spent the entire day doing nothing, he took several naps, will not help with laundry or dinner, and then constantly calls me ugly names all day. I am referred to as ***** in every sentence. I want him to leave. He has cheated on me 3 times. I don't know why I took him back, I guess maybe because I believed in that family crap. I hope and pray that he finds someone else while he is in school because that is the only way my life will have peace. I am finished with trying to make it work. He is evil in my opinion. He yells at me all day and I can never do anything right. I hate him, I really hate him. I am tired of being abused.
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First let me say I am sorry to hear that you are going through this. No one deserves to be treated like crap. But...and there is always a but...there are a few things I'm gonna ask, because I went through a stage where I was almost like this, I wasn't abusive verbally or physically, but I did about everything else.
1. Dose he have any mental issues? Mine is Anxiety/Panic. It made me want to control my wife and anger was a huge issue.
2. I didn't want to do anything. I was and still am a stay-at-home dad. I hated it at first, I hated the fact that I wasn't making any money and my wife was the one bringing home the cash. I hated that I spent all day with no adult conversation, and I was lonely. I don't make friends easy because we move so much (wife is in the military), and the friendships don't last, and it kinda puts me off making really good friends.
3. Hate is the worst word in the English language, #1, with Divorce #2. I can't hate anyone, no matter what they do to me, my children, my wife, I will never hate ... this is a spiritual thing, my faith won't allow me to hate, I do dislike people and won't deal with some people, but I just don't have it in me to hate. Divorce has come to easily to this world. I don't believe in it for many reasons...
A. My faith, again. My faith says you cannot divorce, and if you do you make yourself and the other an adulterer. You get married for life...that's B.
B. Your vows...You say them when you get married, you vow...not just promise, and no I don't believe they are s
ynonymous...you vow to love that person and be with them 'til death do you part, for sickness and in health, for richer and poorer, etc., people don't take these seriously anymore and they don't take the sanctity of marriage seriously anymore either at all. It's all to easy to get in a huge fight, and just say blech, it's over, and than it is.
C. If you fell in love with them ... for whatever reason ... enough to marry them, then you can again. Which, leads to D.
D. COUNSELING...talk with him about your concerns, ask him to see a T, or go to marriage counseling, while he sees a T, but before you do anything, find out what is up with him...
Ok, I agree, you can't make anyone do anything and if he/she doens't want to...at that I can only say let them go, and if they realize what a mistake they made they will come back, if they don't oh well, then you plan for a life ahead, if you feel you have done everything you can to save the marriage, and your partner doesn't/isn't responding or helping...I suppose it's done, I really don't like saying that, because I believe 99% of marriages can be saved, and should be, but people just give up, and then, it's over.
I hope things work out for you.
God Bless!