Well the thing is, I've been in therapy for aprx 4 years now, and I've done pretty much everything... from CBT, to DBT, schematherapy, EVERYTHING. I guess I'm just looking for other explanations of "whats wrong with me" - other then a biological level - I'm on meds to try and take care of that.

And I agree with you that talking to my T helps me, but i guess thats where I was going with this. What is it that I get out of talking to my T? Is it not a form of positive reinforcement? Or is it really what is holding me together so I don't "leak out" ?

The other day my T asked me what I wanted to get out of coming to see her. I thought this was kind of a bizarre question because I've been depressed for what seems like forever... but it really made me think. Anyways, we couldn't come up with any explanation other then it helps me to have her to talk to. Maybe I'm just not satisfied with that conclusion...