to me....it means she does not need me as much. less time with me. I got so close to her. and i depended on her. she coached me through tough times. and while im happy she is with my sister who can see that she isnt hurting or overexerting herself, i find we have "less time".

i used to be the only contact all day and night. and while i should be happy. im not. never had a mom who cared like her. so last night. when she was tired, and i needed to talk, i let her go to bed. and i sat up all night. not quite knowing why. or what else is bringing on the funk. just feeling quite unneeded. and although i have good things in my life, this just sets me back. my real parents, they didnt care, they used me, and shes different. I know shes happy. she was alone when she was in the dakotas.

Out here she has people to help. meanwhile i traveled out there 7 times last year when she needed something. You kinda know the background.

So as childish as it seems. I miss her. and i am supposed to go and see her this weekend. i almost dont want to go.

dunno

thnx

Colleen