Rapunzal, I'm struck by the time between sessions. I'm not sure if this is a money issue or what, but its not surprising you experience the feelings you explained here, but I think more regular therapy would help you here....I think everyone here can ID with what you are feeling and yes email tends to ignite our inner fears because we have no facial expressions to reasure us...much like as children we survived on observingn our caregivers facial expressions to see if that moment we were ok or not, so its no wonder you feel the way you have.