Hi NIX. I read your story yesterday and it hit So many nerves that i had to wait to write a response to you. I guess to focus my thoughts on what i would say.

So many things that you said are very similar to parts of my story as well. One of my abusers was also my older brother. My family swept it under the rug and it was never spoken of ever again. Kind of like out of sight out of mind. ... I have also never confronted him (or the others) as an adult about his actions.

My mother is also in a very debilitated spot. Although she has my step-father with her...he is also getting old and has many issues getting around. Therefor, I am her next main support. I get sometimes several phone calls a day from her "just to talk" or to ask me a million questions about my day. She is very depressed and sometimes takes the things i say in a wrong way. I stay in the region i am in mostly for them.

i was also in an extremely abusive relationship with my sons father. I left him 13 years ago with a shattered jaw. To this day i still have dreams from time to time that leave me in a "not so good" place when i wake up.

And finally i have just been told that i suffer from PTSD and have not yet started my treatment. I am still waiting to see the treatment plan that she has waiting for me on the 6th of april.

Maybe, as we both start this journey with multiple things that we have to tackle we could be of great support to each other to know that somewhere out there someone else is fighting all these memories and family issues. I know one of my biggest fears is to have to bring this out to my family and im not sure if I can. There have been times in my life where i see now they have helped create this mess, and then at the same time i have seen how some of them love me tons. The last thing i want to do is make life harder on them if they have been able to move on.

I guess with all this babble lol, I want to assure you that you have found a good place to be (here). I have found that the ppl here are very supportive and do understand. I truly hope that you continue to come back. It has done wonders for me while i wait for my next session to be able to express my fears and thoughts in a safe place.

Be Strong and Be well ~~ Jenn